ive found someone at last - you

hi im new ive been looking for a new site so i can find someone else with BPD. I hate myself i hate how i have to live i feel my life was stolen sometime but ive always been different i grew up thinking deppression was normal for me the constant bullying the hate i found from people i hardly knew all becaause i was overweight i thuoght i deserved it maybe i did. now im all grown up but i still hate myself ive got married ive got kids. im now getting so low the self harm gets harder to keep a grip on and im taking far more tablets than perscribed but the empiness the feelings that i am nothing just a ball of emotion ,if it was taken away nothing would be left only an empty void were nothing could exist.my head screams it needs to talk to my cpn,doctor anyone but i cant talk to them they dont understand why my life is worth so little i am nothing.i have tried working when i was not too bad but once the BPD set in again they changed they laughed at me stopped talking to me etc so i was put on the sick and that is were i am now,unable to look after others or even after myself please reply just to say you got the blog please please dont ignore me i am so very alone