just when you think?

today i found out i am diabetic its news i can do without so i have to change my diet and cut out all the nice foods and have the boring ones any recipies or hints most welcome. its one thing after another the docters are counting my diazapan by the day so if i take any extra i cant get anymore whatever i say ive run out of excuses to get them early.i got a letter today to fill in the questionere about my health mental and otherwise im dredding having to go for a interview down in the town centre last time i freaked out i cant do that again i dont want to end up in hospital but im scared they will stop my money i would rarther die than have to work again ive tried and failed that.my brother the alcoholic has to go to be assessed hes drinks a large bottle of whisky a day now and ive tried and failed to try and save him but he wont stop and im too tired to argue anymore tommorrow i should be getting my last 2 years of medical notes ive asked for i was told id be upset so god knows whats in i will find out tommorrow the self harm gets worse im past caring im so very tired i have to be in town for 9.00am tommorrow so i have to get myself up early with all the traffic so another day comes and things cant be going much worse