well here i am again i thought by now things would change maybe they have ive just stated going to the gym,well ive been twice but its a start and im 6 months into my DBT course i go nearly every week its good to hear theres people just like me,goods not the right word i wouldnt wish BPD on anyone actually yes i would there are people in this world i hate so much the best thing they could do is die. so i go and listen i think the syhcologists are trying to kick me out they were having problems with all the self harm i should be better by now apparently so now im taking overdoses and ending up in hospital for the day only to be kicked out at evening they tell me i need to see the crisis team then tell me its a 4 hour wait so i go home to a silence as no one knows what to say to me so i retreat further into my shell alone the best place for me.ive joined an art class for people with "mental health" problems its good but its a 50min drive theres times i cant be bothered im good at excuses, the voices in my head my best friends or worst enimies im not sure tell me im better of on my own.if i could find somewere i could live far away i would me and my pets i would be fine am i right to hurt people the way i do,i found on the internet ways people have taken different meds to kill themselves i can only get mine weekly now i can no longer get that amount in one go im dissapointed i need somehow to get a break just stop time for a while block life out no responcabilities im tired.